• Re: Amateur Radio Resourc

    From Daryl Stout@954:895/7 to Mike Dippel on Sun Aug 15 11:51:00 2021
    Mike,

    I enjoy your posts. Any chance you will be on America's Got Talent as
    a comedian? You certainly make the BBS fun to read and enjoy :)

    First, I did a file with ham radio humor, which you can get at https://www.theweatherwonder.com/elk.htm -- now, unless you're a ham
    radio operator, or have an electronics background, you likely won't
    understand much of it...especially with "The Triple Play". This is where
    I united Ham And Radio In Holy Telephony...then had The Honeymoon And
    More, with their first night together, and the early years of the
    harmonics (offspring)...then using The 12 Days Of Hamming (instead of Christmas), or Ham For The Holidays, I took 12 things from the hobby,
    and expounded on them.

    Here's a "Readers Digest" version of "The Triple Play"...

    We understand that the reception was excellent, especially after I
    said "I now pronounce you ham and radio...you may now kiss the mic"
    (you hear "a packet burst", and it's "Yep, he's all over her". <G>

    Information on The Honeymoon was provided by a trusted group of
    Official Observers (so much for privacy and intimacy <G>).

    "After turning down the lights, and putting on some soft JT-65 music,
    ham and radio assumed positions of horizontal and vertical polarization,
    as they got to intimately know each other. They wanted to zero beat
    their frequencies, and he wanted to work up her sideband. But, they had
    to be careful not to put the wedding gifts of the Morse Code keyers where they'd sleep, Otherwise, they would become infested with bed bugs, and
    that would be a real pain in the brass".

    Yes, I have too much time on my hands. <G>

    As a side note, music is normally prohibited on ham radio, except when
    used in transmission of the space shuttle broacasts, where NASA plays
    music to awaken the astronauts...and prior approval of retransmission of
    these has to be obtained from NASA. The digital mode of JT-65 sounds like
    a flute, but it's a legal mode of communication.

    My brother thought I was being vulgar, when I was telling this to a
    couple's 14 year old daughter, and I said "it just shows where your mind
    is. Had this been vulgar, the FCC would've been on me like flies on
    manure".

    There are also a bunch of other funny stories in there, as well as
    several GIFs, JPGs, and PNGs.

    And, to top it off, here's a joke about a couple of "a frisky couple",
    both of who were ham radio operators. Years ago, when I was talking to
    my wife's Mom on the phone, when I got to the punchline, my wife screamed
    "Oh, No!!" at the dry pun humor...but my mother-in-law was laughing uncontrollably. Sadly, both of them are dead and gone now.

    One evening, this ham radio operator husband (we refer to them as OM's
    or "old men" or "old man"...the term for any male ham radio operator),
    walked into the bedroom, where his wife (we refer to them as XYL, or
    ex-young lady...the YL stands for young lady or girlfriend), was "really
    in the mood". She is extremely amorous, hot, and horny...she wants it. <G>

    She says "Beat Me!! Whip Me!!". Well, he didn't have anything handy, so
    he goes out to their van, and removes the magmount antennas via the "quick disconnect" (anybody for a quickie?? <BG>). He takes them into the bedroom,
    and they both strip butt naked, and begin to beat and thrash each other
    with the antennas...until they're dripping in sweat, and have red welts all over their bodies.

    Now, that is NOT my idea of a good time...but if that's what the couple wants, more power to them.

    Well, a few days later, the pain is so bad, that they have to go to the Emergency Room. The doctors have them both strip butt naked, and ask them
    if they got the welts from having sex. They tearfully confessed that they
    did, and the doctor growls "I thought so. That's the worst case of van
    aerial disease I've ever seen". <BG>

    You probably told me about it and I added it myself. Anyway, thank you for being you.

    I've slept since the first post. But, being me proves my authenticity. <G>
    As a side node, on my electronic QSL (eQSL) card, if a fellow ham radio
    perator
    makes a contact with me, the autenticity of the contact is guaranteed.

    Daryl, WX4QZ

    ... I have a rock garden. Last week, 3 of them died.
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (954:895/7)
  • From Mike Dippel@954:895/1 to Daryl Stout on Sun Aug 15 15:18:22 2021
    On 8/15/2021 11:51 AM, Daryl Stout wrote to Mike Dippel:

    Mike,

    I enjoy your posts. Any chance you will be on America's Got Talent as a comedian? You certainly make the BBS fun to read and enjoy :)

    First, I did a file with ham radio humor, which you can get at https://www.theweatherwonder.com/elk.htm -- now, unless you're a ham
    radio operator, or have an electronics background, you likely won't understand much of it...especially with "The Triple Play". This is where
    I united Ham And Radio In Holy Telephony...then had The Honeymoon And
    More, with their first night together, and the early years of the
    harmonics (offspring)...then using The 12 Days Of Hamming (instead of Christmas), or Ham For The Holidays, I took 12 things from the hobby,
    and expounded on them.

    Needless to say, your response did not disappoint me. Your humor PDF takes some time
    to get through, but well worth it.

    Mike Dippel

    --- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v7.0
    * Origin: The Hobby Line! BBS - hobbylinebbs.com (954:895/1)
  • From Daryl Stout@954:895/7 to Mike Dippel on Sun Aug 15 19:50:00 2021
    Mike,

    Needless to say, your response did not disappoint me. Your humor PDF takes some time to get through, but well worth it.

    I hope you got some good laughs out of it. :)

    When I did "The Triple Play" on ham radio, I had to practice it several times, as even I...the author...could NOT keep a straight face. <G>

    Daryl, WX4QZ

    ... I was told "Have emergency number on vacation". I wrote "911".
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (954:895/7)